There are two ways to look at this blog post. Because of my past relationships while overseas, some would say that I am the LAST person to be offering relationship advice or possibly the BEST person to be offering advice. I guess it depends on your viewpoint.
In any case, here I am. First, let’s talk about if you are currently in a relationship with someone who is living back home. I can say this, it’s gonna be tough. No sugar coating it. Time differences, the lack of physical interaction, boredom, missing experiences with each other, and many other factors will determine how tough it is. If you and your partner are willing to tackle these issues head-on and with a lot of communication, it will be better, but still not easy.
Here is one piece of advice I have learned with long-distance relationships based on my own experiences. Long distance relationships have a better chance of succeeding IF (a huge if), there is an agreed time in which it will no longer be long distance. When the two of you can say something like, “this year you go by yourself, but next year, I will be coming with you,” that gives the relationship a tangible goal and a realistic chance to work because you both understand that there are things to be done beforehand for that goal to work. The logistics of such a move are important.
And it has to be understood that the person moving halfway across the globe to be with a baller will be sacrificing ALOT to do so. That person will need a ton of support because they are giving up their life to be a part of yours. They will become dependent on you…possibly financially, but especially emotionally. They will in some ways lose a sense of their own identity…and you have to support them for them to feel comfortable.
One thing I would NOT do is this…if you are not already making plans to be married, DON’T get married so that your partner can stay overseas longer than the 3-month travel visa allows. Bad idea!
Now, what about those of you that are single but looking for someone, even possibly someone while you are overseas? These days with the power of the internet, there are many ways to find someone depending on what you are looking for, but I would suggest the old fashion way. Get out of the house!
Explore your city and what it has to offer. Be open to the prospect that being overseas could mean that your previous “type” may not be in surplus. You may have to think (date) outside of the box.
Somehow I have the feeling that it is much easier for men than it is for a woman to find a suitable partner while overseas. Why that is, is a job for sociologists and not for me but in general, I would say that women are much pickier in their choices than men are. I say that without judgment either way.
Although especially online, women probably have more people in their DM’s than men, the quality of those DM’s is probably extremely lacking in substance for women haha. Either online or in real life, it is important to get to know the person. Invest time. Go out on simple dates like taking a walk.
I am not Hitch (the date doctor played by Will Smith) and depending on who you ask, I have failed or I have learned from my previous relationships while overseas. Relationships in general are difficult, but if you factor in playing in a foreign country 8-10 months out of a year, it can be overwhelming.