Overseas basketball is full of challenges. There are language barriers, cultural differences, and tough coaching styles. But one of the hardest things for many players to adjust to is dealing with a coach who yells constantly, especially if they don’t speak English. It can feel frustrating, confusing, and even demoralizing.
So how do you handle it? How do you stay locked in on your game when it feels like you’re getting screamed at for every mistake? The answer lies in understanding the message, not the tone.
A Lesson From My First Coach…My Dad
My dad was my first basketball coach, and let’s just say, he was tough. Losing a game meant a rough car ride home, and every mistake felt magnified. Eventually, it got to the point where I dreaded those post-game conversations.
One day, I finally talked to my mother about it, hoping for some relief. But instead of sympathizing, she gave me some of the best advice of my life:
“Listen to WHAT your dad tells you, not HOW he tells you.”
At first, it didn’t click. But as I thought about it more, I realized she was right. My dad’s tone wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but the actual information? It was valuable. He wasn’t yelling to tear me down, he was yelling because he cared, was passionate about the game, and because he wanted me to succeed.
That lesson stuck with me throughout my entire basketball career. And if you’re playing overseas and dealing with a fiery coach, it’s a lesson that can help you, too. Here’s how to handle it like a pro.
1. Stay Focused on the Message
When your coach is yelling, it’s easy to shut down emotionally or tune them out. But if you want to improve, you have to block out the noise and focus on the actual message.
Ask yourself:
-What is the coach actually saying? (Not just how they’re saying it.)
-Is there valuable information in the feedback?
-What can I do differently next time?
If needed, take notes after practice or ask a teammate to clarify things for you. The more you filter out the delivery and focus on the message, the better you’ll get.
2. Don’t Take It Personally
A coach who yells a lot can make it feel like every mistake is a personal attack. But in most cases, it’s not about YOU—it’s about the game.
Overseas coaches are passionate. Many grew up in intense basketball cultures where yelling is just a normal coaching style. To them, it’s not disrespect—it’s just communication.
So when your coach gets loud, remind yourself:
-This isn’t about me as a person.
-My coach wants the best for the team.
-I’m here to learn and get better.
Once you stop taking the yelling personally, it becomes much easier to process the information and move forward.
3. Stay Calm and Professional
Getting yelled at in front of teammates can be embarrassing. You might feel like talking back, rolling your eyes, or checking out mentally. But reacting emotionally will only make things worse.
-Take a deep breath.
-Stay composed.
-Respond with respect and professionalism.
Not only will this help keep your emotions in check, but coaches respect players who can take criticism without breaking.
4. Avoid the “Yeah, But…” Disease
As a coach myself, let me tell you—nothing annoys coaches more than hearing “Yeah, but…” after feedback.
“Yeah, but I was open.”
“Yeah, but he fouled me.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t see him.”
When you respond with “Yeah, but…” you’re basically rejecting the coaching, even if you didn’t mean to. And worse? It spreads to teammates and destroys team culture.
Instead, train yourself to say:
“Got it, Coach.”
“Understood.”
“I’ll fix it next time.”
This small shift makes a huge difference in how you’re perceived as a player.
5. Find Ways to Communicate Effectively
If the yelling is affecting your confidence or performance, don’t be afraid to talk to your coach.
Set up a quick meeting and say something like:
“Coach, I want to make sure I understand your instructions. Can you help me see what I need to improve?”
This approach does two things:
-It shifts the conversation from confrontation to learning.
-It shows your coach that you WANT to improve, which earns their respect.
Coaches love players who take initiative. Instead of complaining, ask questions and seek clarity.
6. Find a Support System
Overseas basketball can be lonely. If you’re struggling with a coach’s intensity, lean on:
-Teammates – They’ve likely dealt with the same thing.
-Friends/Family – A quick call home can help you reset.
-A Mentor or Consultant (like me) – Sometimes, you just need guidance from someone who’s been there before.
You don’t have to face these challenges alone. Find people who can help you process, adjust, and keep pushing forward. A coach who yells can either break you down or build you up—it partly depends on how you handle it.
Tune out the tone—focus on the message.
Stay professional and avoid emotional reactions.
Communicate and find ways to improve.
Use criticism as fuel to get better.
If you master these skills, you won’t just survive overseas—you’ll thrive. Need help navigating overseas basketball?
Let’s Talk…